Friday, June 21, 2013

Lady please, stay away from my children and me.

At the mall with mom and children
Having triplets bring a lot of attention as many of you can imagine, my Facebook wall is full of ohh ahh awww cuuute, too cute... kind of comments. We received presents from people who we don't even know and you feel the TRIPLE love everywhere. But after the shock of this extraordinary moment has settle down and you make some time to see the dynamic of the people around us, oh boy... some of my friends came to my house and without even say hello they started to shoot their cameras and posting the pictures in FB; like there is not tomorrow.
Then this lady that I barely know send us 3 outfits in the mail that were too small already (premiere size are unreal) and she keep looking and asking for her outfits in every picture I post. Guess what Mrs Lady, we returned your tiny outfits and we traded in for formula, which is much more needed.

Now where the attention really  become a headache is during "The Mall experience". I am not naive and I knew that going to the mall with a triplet stroller and white baby triplets in it would be a reason to be profiled. However I never suspect it would be such a intense and never ending experience.


The Triplette from Peg Perego
Today I understand those Hollywood celebrities when they cover them self with huge sunglasses and seems they are always running in public and jumping into dark tinted glass SUV's.

The neverending people staring at you and your babies, asking questions or making comments or remarks in your face every 10 second is really overwhelming. I can actually count with my finger all the questions because they are all the same. People really expect you to stop and answer them every time.

My reaction to the first person I encounter in the Mall entrance was polite and even cool and I wanted to tell them the whole story of how we have triplets through surrogacy and that my partner was another man and so on... then the next person received a very abbreviated version of the previous story, with the third I just limited myself to respond with yes or no and to act like I was in a hurry, then the fourth interaction was just a simple and quick smile and I kept walking but turning my head because the lady at this point was following me and asking me more questions... are they yours? are they triplets? are they identical? how many girls and boys? the one with a bow is a girl? Are they natural? Are they NATURAL?? No, they are synthetic, all made in Korea. Trust me by the 6th and 7th person I was wearing my dark huge sunglasses and I was walking like I was deaf and very angry. Pretty much looking straight at front and never ever looking back again.

One lady screamed at me across the hallway -  I NEED TO SEE THOSE BABIES!!!!! but I kept walking in my direction while she stays there,  planted,  expecting me to stop and make her demand a reality. I clearly heard when she throw me a fit after she left and my partner said, I think you were a little rude with that lady. I thought, really? so you just scream to somebody and express what you want and you expect people stop for you without even asking politely? May I, Could you? Please...

So after my first Mall experience I had to make a decision on what to do next, my choices are:

1- Never go to a mall again and stay with 4 crying baby in my house until they don't need a stroller and go to college. 

or

2- Bring some aid with me to stop people of been rude or al least educate them that their questions are not very welcomed because they are all the same and they are formulated to us every 45 seconds. People don't see we are busy, we are not there for their entertainment, we are there because we need to shop or just because we need time out before we kill the performers of this show.


So I am planning to write a F.A.Q. sign for my stroller and save some time answering and showing people their question are not unique.

  1. Are they triplets? A: Yes (and no, i don't run a childcare)
  2. Are they 2 boys and a girl? Yes (Can you see their outfit colors and Lily's gigantic flower on her head? ) 
  3. Are they yours? Yes, I paid for them (that is hard to prove since they are white babies)
  4. How old are they? A: Realy? you make the maths, they were born April 1st. 
  5. You must have your hands full... A: Not shit! I didn't realize that yet. 
  6. Holy cow triplets??? A: yeah (Holy cow, you make another idiot asking the same question for the 10th time today) 
  7. We only had twins in my family, never triplets .A: Oh... (so?) 
  8. Are they natural? Yes they are all 100% natural. (their clothes are synthetic though) 
  9. Are all identical? emmm no, only the boys (after they asked if they are boys and girls...
  10. Can I touch them? A: No! (They usually go, he he he while the extend their hand to touch them and I firmly repeat -NO, really, you can't touch them. Long silence...- I am sorry.... and they go. 






3 comments:

  1. I wish I could tell you that it wears off when they are older. I have 4.5 yr old ID triplets (boys). We went to the mall yesterday. I was asked the same questions and heard the same comments I was asked (and you are asked) from when they were infants. At least at this age fewer people try to touch them and no one attempts to pick them up. On the upside the kids now answer some of the questions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, it got a lot better. We learned how to avoid people or to handle rude people. Also there are good people that are naturally curious and are kind and respectful and we always make time for them. But when I wrote the blog I was a newbie at this and I was shocked. So those feelings are real. Today I can say I enjoy the attention and the positive vibe from the good people and ignore and laugh of the ignorant and rude.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even with our twins we would get people asking questions, and often feeling the need to try and touch them. Feel your pain. It gets better, and worse. Keep your heads up and smile through it.

    ReplyDelete